Death by Love

As I wonder how it would have felt. I left wondering. It kills me not knowing. I wanted to feel his body against mine. His chest touching mine. Our heart beating together. My arms wrapped around his body. We would have stood there forever. In my mind it would have been heaven. My life would have felt complete. I would whispered in to his ear and said "You smell nice." He probably would have smile and laughed a bit.

These tears that run down my face. That fall to their death as they hit the floor. they come out for the man who stole my heart. I lean against the window ledge with my eye's closed. My mouth, buried in my crossed arms. The gentle patter of the rain. These thoughts through my head. The visions of pain and death. Things I could have done to my self. Ending the pain of love. Ending the beat that slowly will die. my breath cold and slow.  I open my eyes to look up at the sky. Clouds coving the beautiful sun that gives us the heat we need.

My body was weak, cold and mostly alone. I collapse to the ground. The liquor has finally gotten me. My heart feels like its going to explode. I stair at the ground. Slowly turning my self on my back. I see him right in front of my eyes.

"It going to be alright." He placed his hand on me. There was a pool of red on the ground quickly getting bigger.

"What's going on?" The light above us was dim. We were in a small enclose place with 3 doors around us and the forth was a hall that looked like it went for miles.

"What do you mean. Are you ok? Don't you feel it?" I had a confused look on my face. My nose and ears red just like my blood shot eyes. My skin as white and cold like snow. And I feel the tear race down. They were warm and I take it all in closing my eye's. "Stay with me! You hear me!" I open them right after.

"Yes, but I don't care. I need to tell you something." I held on to his hand. Look in to his eyes and open my mouth to tell him "I love you. Always have, always will."

"I know, I was waiting for you to say that all year. When they fix you up we'll get together. Anything you want. Just please don't leave me." His hand slowly moving across my cheek. My right hand on the area gushing like a volcano.

"If you go, I'm going with you." He places his right hand on mine. We interlock figures.

"No, I wont let you" I tried ignoring the pain.

"Don't leave me. Please, just please." His eye's watered. His skin like a ghost and his nose and ears like a tomato. He lets go of my hands to take off his glasses, quickly whipping his tears.

"Don't let it take you over." His eyes closed trying to cover his face. I place my hand under his chin. "Look at me. don't let my death be your. Don't lose your self. Remember what you have."

He looked at me. We close our eyes and he gets close. His hot breath against mine. I fell his lips. The inside of his mouth. I wrap my arms around him leaving a red hand print on his back.
He wrapped his arms around my dying body. He sits me up against the wall and we open our eyes And smile.

"They wont be here on time." We held hands.

"Don't say that, I will keep you alive."

"With what? How? The pain and suffering should only go to those who are in pain that can be fixed, Like me. The tears from the two of us could have only kept me alive for little time. Ever breath I take is one step closer to the light."

"Then save some. I will keep you alive no matter what." He looked desperate. I move my self back to the position I was in on the floor.

"It hurts, I feel light headed. There is no hope for me any more." I coughed, I felt a warm liquid run down the side of my face.

"No you'll make it. Don't quit, don't die on me."

I smiled. "I see a glowing light, this is the ride. This it where we say good bye." The tear gushed out of the both of us.

"Please don't. not yet, not before this." He kissed me one last time. It felt like an angels kiss.

"Thank you."

"No thank you." He smiled and ever thing went blank.